A health journey starts with a lack of self-discipline, and therefore in my opinion, self-respect. There is insufficient self-love present to make the harder decision that will require more effort, be more uncomfortable but that you know is right in the grand scheme of your life or the long run. When I was unhealthy, very few of my decisions were geared towards the future and I was obsessed with making myself feel better in the present moment. I could not see very far into the future because the pain was too great and I had not suffered yet, in ways great and small, to influence me to change.
Since I made a commitment to myself to get healthy, I’ve watched my own self-respect, and therefore, self-love, grow. I am reflecting on this today because a very simple example arose… an opportunity to exercise self-respect. Much like any human being, a soft spot for me is romantic love, or as many might put it…. BOYS. I was supposed to go on a date this coming Wednesday and I was excited about it, genuinely. I could see a lot in common with this person and though I had not yet met the man, I felt attracted. Today, in a matter of hours, several things came to light about this person that were difficult to read. I will not list them here, but suffice it to say, this person has been through far too much recently and has too much recent trauma to even be considering entering a relationship in my eyes. In other words, RED FLAG. I want to tell you that when I was younger I would have heeded this red flag and seen incredibly clearly that the way forward was to avoid this person at all costs. But…..I’m pretty confident I would have gone on the date. “Saving” people can just be so intoxicating.
Today; however, I immediately sighed heavily and I knew I needed to tell this man that I was absolutely unwilling to go on this date. Not because I think he is a bad person, but because it is clear as day that this is not someone I should be going anywhere near. I think what’s been most interesting about this experience is simply that while this communication was uncomfortable in the moment, I feel completely okay about it now. I know I disappointed and maybe hurt him. But I love myself enough to tell the truth and to call it like I see it. When we do the work and get healthy, we start to see how the easy thing might be fun, but it’s just not right. We begin to feel in our bones when things are out of alignment in our relationships with people, food, substances and the world around us. Fun is not a virtue, and while it is perfectly healthy to have fun. It is not healthy to indulge our less evolved tendencies so that we can make someone else happy or indulge in an addictive pattern. Love, romance, boys, women, girls - can be a powerful drug. One that ultimately destroys us when we engage in it at our own expense.
Today, I’m extra proud of me for having enough self-respect to lean into discomfort to help future Greg out. Where are you seeing more self-respect as you evolve?
Keep Thriving,
Greg
Thinking about self-limiting beliefs today. Are there limiting beliefs that you’ve held in the past that have kept you stuck? How did you move past them?
This is the perfect place to build your tribe! Feel free to authentically and boldly share what’s going on with you, relevant parts of your health and wellness journey or any helpful information you might come across.
NOTE: This is a community for men. Women are wonderful, but if they are found in the community, they will respectfully be asked to leave.
Keep Thriving,
Coach Greg
This past weekend I had the privilege to compete at the Asbury Park Summer Games with a Masters 35+ team of 3 that placed 3rd in the competition. I wanted to use this outlet to debrief the experience because LORD, I went through so much at this competition and I feel that it’s important that I share some of it since as always, there’s lessons to be learned.
We’ll start on Wednesday night before the competition, when my wonderful and beautiful partner, Kenny, told me that he was feeling sick. He had been, er, using the facilities frequently and had a mild fever and stomach ache. To be honest, I just didn’t think it even within the most remote possibilities that I could get sick too. Why? I’m not sure. I think generally I’ve had many experiences where people close to me got sick and I didn’t so I suppose I just don’t put a ton of stock in this idea that just because you were in close contact with someone…you will absolutely get sick. In any case, on Thursday, the day before I was ...
One sentiment that is, in my opinion, easily identifiable in our modern culture is the concept of “Safetyism.” When I say this word, I mean an obsession with safety, being risk averse to the point of being pathological. The increase in fear in our consciousness is very apparent, so what could be driving this heightening fear? I think the truth of the matter is that people have a perception that things are more dangerous than they are because they have been informed by a less than credible internet source or their perception is skewed by their feed. As an example, many people believe there’s more violent crime being committed now than some years ago. Meanwhile, FBI data illustrates a different picture of this, showing that since the 1990s, crime is overall on a downswing. What could be the reason for this stark contrast? I would posit that it relates to the availability of information through the internet and social media. It’s much easier for violent crimes and atrocities to come into ...
When I was a younger man, I discovered a community and a whole world within dance music. When I started to fall in love with this scene, I began going to events where people danced until sunrise, were obsessed beyond measure with niche artists that no one’s heard of (but we gag over), and made fast friends with the strangers standing next to you. When going to events, the thing that I probably loved the most was how connected to people I felt. I felt as though I had permission to say hi to the strangers next to me and ask them about themselves. Some of my closest friends to this day came from these sort of interactions - probably because if a person is at that sort of event, you can ascertain that you have things in common.
Experiences like this are healing. Most of the time, we walk around judging each other as if we’re high and mighty, everyone is in our way as we indulge our egos and try to get through our respective days. But in these moments, we can mostly let that go and connect to ...
